Want to Become a Better Lover?
Watch our tantric massage online course!
Want to Become a Better Lover?
Watch our tantric massage online course!
Human beings love to be touched and sometimes there’s nothing better than a massage to get you feeling good. In fact, a great massage can have similarly pleasurable and relaxing effects as sex, particularly if you incorporate some sensual massage techniques when you’re getting intimate with that special someone…
Sensual massage, which can also be referred to as intimate, sexual or erotic massage, is all about using the relaxation and intimacy techniques of regular massage to get your partner feeling really good. Many couples also incorporate some tantric massage techniques as a way to connect and have incredible, passionate experiences in the bedroom, but we’ll look at that later.
This is all about getting hands-on with your partner and letting them relax into some serious pleasure. In this guide to sensual, intimate massage, we’ll talk about the benefits of sensual massage, explain a little about tantric massage and offer some incredible erotic massage tips to help you amp up the passion factor in your bedroom tonight!
So, let’s look at how sensual or erotic massage is different to the kind of massage you’d usually receive in a spa. You’ve probably guessed it already but erotic massage is a sexier version of a regular massage that also involves massaging the genitals.
It can start off in a similar way to a regular massage, with touching and stroking of the whole body, before gradually becoming more and more steamy…
Trying sexual massage is an amazing way to experiment in the bedroom and learn how to give your partner deep pleasure and even mind-blowing orgasms. The aim of an erotic massage is to let the receiver relieve stress by experiencing sexual arousal in a safe, comfortable environment.
Learning erotic massage techniques helps us to slow down and really enjoy the experience of touching each other.
It can help men to last longer during sex as well as giving women the chance to experience multiple orgasms. Sexual massage is also an amazing way to build more intimacy and connection with your partner. At the very least, it is a way to bring some spice and a different perspective into the bedroom and explore something new!
A tantric massage is very similar to a sensual massage but is a more holistic experience that incorporates breathwork and mindfulness. Tantra massage also involves stimulating sexual arousal in your partner but the aim of the massage is more focused on emotional connection and energetic healing.
Whether you want to learn sensual massage to spice up your sex life or to feel more connection with your partner, it’s all about having an incredible, pleasurable experience – and incorporating some tantric massage techniques can make the whole thing even better!
If you or your partner has an orgasm after the massage, that’s awesome, but it’s not the goal. Instead, it’s about experiencing the same feelings of pleasure and relaxation as a regular massage but with the added bonus of some steamy sexual arousal.
1. Set up the space
The best way to get into the moment and be present with our bodies is to engage all five senses. This is why it’s essential to take care setting the space so that everything you touch, see, smell, hear and even taste is conducive to total relaxation.
Make sure you have a comfortable place in which to perform the massage, with as many cushions and blankets as you need. Create a soothing atmosphere with candles or soft lighting.
Scent can come from essential oils, diffusers or incense and you can have some tea or a glass of wine to sip on and some snacks to nibble on if you like.
Try to make sure you will not be disturbed as this can negatively impact the relaxing mood, so lock the door or communicate with other people in the house that you will be unavailable. Also ensure that both your phones are switched off! Music is a great tool for setting the scene, too: try to choose something flowing and immersive.
2. Communication is key
It goes without saying that full consent from both parties is a fundamental aspect of a sensual massage. It can be helpful to have an open-minded conversation before you start, to identify boundaries and make sure both of you feel comfortable communicating these boundaries.
During the massage, don’t be afraid to give or ask for feedback; this is supposed to be a pleasurable experience so if you want to change something, speak up!
When it comes to starting the massage, follow these simple steps:
1. Prepare some oil
A massage isn’t a massage without oil! You can use coconut oil, massage oil or any essential oil. Also, it is recommended to warm it up a little bit first to make sure it goes on smoothly.
2. Get comfortable
Invite your partner to undress or, if they feel comfortable, you can undress them. Then let them settle comfortably on their belly.
3. Drop in
Take a moment to settle in and remind yourself of why you are doing this – you can also both set an intention if it feels right. For the giver, try something like “I intend to show my partner love through touch” and for the receiver, “I intend to feel pleasure without guilt”.
Intention setting is an important part of tantric massage therapy for couples, as this is generally a more holistic and mindful experience.
Breathwork is a key part of intimate massage and can make the experience way more passionate. Before you start massaging, place your hands on your partner’s back near their heart space and take a few minutes to breathe together, slowly deepening your breath and starting to relax.
5. Start the massage
Put some oil on your hands and start massaging their body. You can begin with the back and experiment with different styles of strokes to see what feels good. Feedback is key here!
Slowly move from the back to other areas of the body and, when you’re ready, ask them to turn round so you can start massaging their front – but don’t touch the genital area yet. That’s when you can use some tantra massage techniques to get the sexual energy flowing…
Once you’re nice and warmed up, you can move onto the most sacred part of the body: the genitals. For this, you can incorporate some amazing techniques from tantric massage to give your partner incredible pleasure. If you’re asking yourself “what is a tantra massage?”, never fear!
The good news is that it’s easy to learn how to do tantric massage! Just follow these techniques, make sure to check that your partner feels comfortable and be sure to move slowly and respectfully.
You can start massaging the penis, or ‘lingam’ as it’s referred to in tantra, whether it is hard or soft. Many people have not been touched in this area with such patience and appreciation and so emotions and trapped feelings may arise.
Let your partner know that this is part of the process and they are safe to feel whatever may come up; this vulnerability is also what leads to greater intimacy and connection on an emotional level.
There are many different tools and techniques for lingam massage. Let’s look at five techniques to get you started.
This technique is great whether the penis is soft or hard and you don’t need any oil.
Start by placing the index finger and thumb of your left hand at the base of the lingam and press gently. Then, do the same with your right hand but slightly up on the opposite side of the shaft. Just like you are rock climbing and finding new points to hold onto, keep going until you reach the top and then start at the base again for a second round.
Rubbing & Rolling
This technique can also be done with the lingam soft or hard. You can choose whether or not to use oil here.
Place the lingam in the middle of your hands and start rubbing and rolling it between your palms. You can play with speed and move up and down to cause different sensations.
This is where you want to start using oil. Place your hand at the base of the lingam and hold it firmly. If it’s still soft, you can increase the pressure of your grip to stimulate blood flow.
With your other hand, spread out your fingers and stroke the penis up and down on all sides, using the oil and playing with the rhythm, speed and pressure to enhance the sensation.
Never Ending Entry
Place your hand into a fist and start sliding it from the top all the way down, letting your second hand follow right after. Make sure to apply a decent amount of pressure and keep up the continuous movement, it will give him the feeling he is entering inside you!
Enlarging the lingam
Place both hands at the middle of the shaft. With your lower hand, stroke from the middle down to the base. With your upper hand, make the same stroking movement but from the middle up to the tip. Then slide both hands back to the middle and repeat.
As your hands move in opposite directions, it creates the sensation of length in the lingam, which can feel amazing.
The vagina, or ‘yoni’ is generally more mysterious and complex than the lingam, so it’s important to treat it gently and make sure your partner is completely comfortable. It is common for negative emotions to be stored in the yoni and often a person may have to heal from these emotions before being able to feel pleasure. Try these five tantric yoni massage techniques to get started.
Massaging the hood
The clitoris is very sensitive and direct stimulation is not always pleasurable. Often it is more pleasant to receive an indirect touch and that is where this technique comes in!
The clitoris has a hood, which is a fold of skin that surrounds the head. Make the hood wet and glide your finger over it from top to bottom. Use gentle pressure and play with the speed.
Loving the labia
The vagina lips are full of nerve endings that can give delicious pleasure. To massage them, apply oil and start to move your thumbs up and down, using long and slow movements. Start from the clitoris and go down to the entrance, teasing with your fingers as you go.
Circling the entrance
Place the tip of your finger on the entrance of the yoni and gently circle around. Experiment by moving really slowly. Many people tense up around this part as negative emotions or fear of pain can be stored here, so make sure to be gentle in your approach.
The Big ‘O’
Continuous motions like circles and ovals feel so good on the yoni because they continuously stimulate a large area and all of the nerve-endings get activated! Take your finger and place it on the clitoris. From there, go down over the lips, circle in front of the entrance and then go back up over the lips to the clit again.
For this technique, you want to ask for consent first and make sure your partner feels comfortable with you going a little more inside them. If it’s a yes, apply oil both on the entrance of the yoni and on your index finger. Place your finger at the entrance of the yoni and move your finger very slowly inside.
Move about half of your finger inside and stay there. Don’t move, don’t penetrate, don’t go in and out – just stay there and ask your partner to breathe and feel your finger. The yoni doesn’t need a lot of movement and friction to feel pleasure, just having your finger there can feel really good.
Since sensual massage is not about chasing an orgasm, it can be tricky to know how to conclude it. Staying present and connected throughout the experience will help you to feel when the massage is coming to a natural end.
To finish, you can gently cup the yoni/lingam with your hands and send some love and gratitude to that sacred body part.
Make sure to move slowly as the massage comes to an end so that the receiver has time to let the juices soak in. Let them relax and breathe for a moment before checking in and seeing if they need something: a cuddle, a blanket or maybe just silence.
This time is all about them. Later, feel free to get close and hold each other: a beautiful way to end this amazing and intimate experience.
You can definitely incorporate some massaging tools or even some sexy toys in your massage but they’re by no means necessary. For a simple erotic massage, all you’ll need is some oil!
Orgasm is not the goal of a sensual or tantric massage but it’s definitely possible that, with practise, they can help women get more in touch with their sexuality, which can result in some incredible and sometimes multiple orgasms.
Erotic massage is about slowing down in the bedroom and leaning into pleasure so yes, learning how to give an erotic massage to a man can help him to have more control over his sexual arousal and, as a result, last longer.
Absolutely not! It’s easy to incorporate some tantra massage techniques into your sensual massage and the more you learn about tantra, the more pleasure and connection you can experience with your partner.
The main difference between the two is that a tantric massage is a more holistic practise while sensual massage takes place on a more physical level. In a tantric massage, you’ll tap into the emotional and spiritual energies as well as giving amazing physical pleasure.
In a sensual massage, it’s all about building sexual arousal to get you both in the mood and be able to lean into some incredible sensations.